


Torchwood Season Zero

by copperbadge



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Flat Holm Island, Gen, Not Children of Earth Compliant, Pre-pilot, Weevils (Torchwood), episode guide format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-01
Updated: 2009-01-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copperbadge/pseuds/copperbadge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An episode guide to the season we could have had pre-pilot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Torchwood Season Zero

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, an anonymous secret-maker posted a secret to Fandom Secrets lamenting that we didn't get a season with the pre-Gwen cast of Torchwood. From their POV it had a lot to do with disliking Gwen, but I looked at the secret and thought, _what a great idea._
> 
>  
> 
> I decided I would write the pre-season.

Torchwood: Outside the government, beyond the police. A secret organisation, fighting for the future on behalf of the human race.

Torchwood One: The London headquarter office, destroyed by an alien attack.  
Torchwood Two: A listening post in Glasgow.  
Torchwood Three: Cardiff, under the command of Captain Jack Harkness.  
Torchwood Four: Disappeared.

The twenty-first century is when it all changes. Are you ready?

* * *

**PILOT**   
**0.01 Lost Causes**

It's been a month since Torchwood London fell to alien invaders and most of its staff were killed. Torchwood Cardiff, which broke ties with London before the invasion, is now left with the responsibility of sifting through the remains to secure anything alien or dangerous. Team medic Owen Harper and second-in-command Suzie Costello spend their days in the burned-out hull of the tower at Canary Wharf, recovering artifacts, while technologist Toshiko Sato tries to glean what she can from the damaged digital records.

Captain Jack Harkness, leader of the small Cardiff branch, has spent as much time as he can ignoring their reports, refusing to consult on the recovered artifacts, and making himself conspicuously absent when shipments from London arrive to be catalogued. Suzie thinks he's mourning some secret love who died in London; Owen just thinks he needs to get over himself and help them with the recovery effort.

Captain Jack's misery and Owen's stroppy insubordination both become moot, however, when reports begin to surface of artifacts from London making their way into the hands of international private collectors. Someone is robbing the tower when Owen and Suzie aren't there, selling harmless and broken artifacts to the highest bidder. Torchwood, forced to investigate every strange event and crime in both London and Cardiff, eventually stumbles over something that _isn't_ harmless: a pair of brutal murders with an MO Jack recognises immediately.

A semi-intelligent robotic mind manipulator, designed by an alien government to ensure its assassins never backed out of their missions, has escaped from its storage crate in one of the shipments to Cardiff and is now driving an innocent local citizen to kill. Torchwood doesn't care about the body count, but they have to recover or destroy the mainpulator before it falls into the wrong hands. To do this they must lay a trap for the assassin, based on the last two victims -- both dark-haired women, which means that as much as Jack wants to be the bait it'll have to be Suzie.

With a civilian's life in the balance as well as Suzie's, will Tosh be fast enough to disarm the robot, or will Jack be forced to watch Suzie die before he can execute her killer?

And when it's all over, with Suzie safe and the robot disabled by a brilliant spur-of-the-moment virus Tosh uploaded to it, there still remains the question: who was robbing Torchwood Tower?

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Suzie: Let him alone, Owen.  
Owen: But I need to --  
Suzie: He's grieving. Let him alone.  
Tosh: Why? I thought he hated Torchwood One.  
Suzie: He did. He does. But he's mourning for someone -- I saw his face when he was going over the list of the dead. There's a name on there that means something to him.  
Owen: We all lost people from London. Work still has to get done.  
Suzie: I'm warning you, Owen. Bother him and it'll be trouble for all of us.

Owen: What I want to know is, why evil? Why are robots always evil? Why aren't there any good robots?  
Jack: There are plenty of good robots.  
Suzie: Then why don't we ever see any?  
Jack: Because you only hear about the bad ones.  
Owen: Well, I say, when all this is over, we find some good robots.  
Jack: And do what, tell them what a good job they're doing?  
Owen: Sometimes I just like to see something to know it's there.  
Jack: Have a little faith!  
Owen: I'm an atheist.

Tosh: Is there anything you wanted to talk about? You know you can talk to us. I mean, who else can you talk to?  
Jack: Yeah.  
Tosh: So if you did want to...  
Jack: It's just...*dramatic pause* this coffee is really, really awful.  
Tosh: Ah.  
Jack: Don't ask me about London again, Tosh. I'm fine.

Owen: I could have sworn that thing killed you.  
Jack: I'm tougher than I look.  
Owen: Not difficult.  
Jack: Are you calling me a wimp?  
Owen: Period military, Jack...

Suzie: Back to London tomorrow. You know in all the excitement over that robot we forgot about the investigation.  
Jack: Nothing new's turned up in two weeks.  
Suzie: Sometimes Owen and I swore we saw someone in the ruins.  
Jack: Shoot to kill. Looters get no mercy.  
Suzie: Weird sort of looter. We've dug up a lot of really valuable kit, Jack, but only the totally worthless rubbish got sold. It's like whoever did it knew what was safe to get rid of. I could look into the personnel --  
Jack: Don't bother.  
Suzie: But --  
Jack: I want this done with. Get what's left and shut the tower down.  
Suzie: Yes, sir.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

Personnel Profiles

JACK HARKNESS

Hire status: New hire. Recruited by CLASSIFIED. Former occupation, CLASSIFIED.  
Tenure: CLASSIFIED.  
Position(s) held: Current: Base Commander. Former: Freelance Consultant, Field Agent, Technologist (as needed).  
Training: Expert firearms, expert hand-to-hand (completed before hire with Cardiff).

Father: Deceased.  
Mother: Deceased.  
Partner/dependent(s): None.

Security Notes: J. Harkness has no current security restrictions.

General Notes: None.

Clearance Level: All.

***

TOSHIKO SATO

Hire status: Transfer from UNIT. Recruited by CJH. Former occupation, database QA, MoD.  
Tenure: Active in Torchwood Cardiff for the past four years.  
Position(s) held: Technologist, Field Operative.  
Training: Standard firearms, minimal hand-to-hand.

Father: Deceased.  
Mother: Living. Normal contact (see "Security Notes").  
Partner/dependent(s): None.

Security Notes: T. Sato was recruited on condition of minimal contact with relatives, mandated by Torchwood London, which monitored contact. CJH executive decision to extend normal contact without permission or knowledge of London, 2.5 yrs ago. Since closure of London office, contractual conditions null and void. T. Sato has no current security restrictions.

General Notes: Toshiko is an able and loyal member of the Torchwood team. Though quieter than Suzie and Owen, Toshiko has shown no signs of social withdrawal or isolation beyond standard for Torchwood. She forms strong bonds with her teammates and has no history with Torchwood of insubordination. Makes a mean spinach omelette.

Clearance Level: Top Secret.

***

OWEN HARPER

Hire Status: New Hire. Recruited by CJH. Former occupation, medical doctor.  
Tenure: Active in Torchwood Cardiff for the past three years.  
Position(s) held: Medic, Field Operative.  
Training: Standard firearms, standard hand-to-hand (at request).

Father: Status unknown.  
Mother: Living (estranged).  
Partner/dependent(s): None.

Security Notes: Due to parental status, possibility of half-siblings or paternal contact. O. Harper was mandated by Torchwood London to report any contact from individuals claiming blood relation and since closure of the London office has agreed to voluntarily continue compliance. O. Harper has no current security restrictions.

General Notes: Owen has a temper but also a good deal of common sense. He requires cautious handling at times. He is by far the most outgoing of the team, engaging in civilian social contact on a regular basis. He has been briefed on security precautions for these activities and they are not considered a security threat. Has something against the Welsh, but doesn't seem to mind Cardiff too much. Raided his porn library, pretty vanilla.

Clearance Level: Top Secret.

***

SUZIE COSTELLO

Hire Status: Transfer from Torchwood London with intent to monitor CJH command of Torchwood Cardiff (see "Security Notes").  
Tenure: Active in Torchwood Cardiff for the past three years.  
Position(s) held: Deputy Command, Field Operative, Social Specialist.  
Training: Expert firearms, expert hand-to-hand (completed before transfer to Cardiff).

Father: Living.  
Mother: Deceased.  
Partner/dependent(s): None.

Security Notes: S. Costello was originally transferred to Cardiff as a liaison to London and expected to report to London on activities in Cardiff. Under command of CJH, began voluntary refusal of information barter (without London's knowledge) 2.5 years ago. Considered a stable and loyal employee. S. Costello has no current security restrictions.

General Notes: Suzie is exceptional in research and in the field. She has voluntarily taken over archival duties and maintains the staff rotas. She assists Toshiko when necessary and is trained in command protocol should CJH become incapacitated. We all trust her implicitly. Absolutely necessary in management of Torchwood's day-to-day operations. Workaholic.

Clearance Level: Top Secret.

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -13  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 1

Alien activity: Smart evil robot assassins!

Rift activity: Negligible.

Security: Items from the wreckage of Torchwood London have been turning up in the hands of private collectors. Suzie and Owen assure me they can have the rest of the London site stitched up by the end of the week with a little help from UNIT. I've asked them to tap only UNIT operatives they trust implicitly.

Other security issues: One of the items got loose from an unsecured crate (UNIT will be hearing about this) and ran amok in Cardiff. Suzie showed outstanding guts in posing as bait for the aforementioned smart evil robot assassin.

Staff: Suzie is concerned about the security breach in London and taking it personally. Owen is less worried, but then isn't he always. Tosh has been working round the clock and I know she's a little frustrated; I think maybe sometime soon we need a team pub night.

Other Staff issues: Way to go, Tosh!

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.02 Monster of the Week**

Weevils are aliens, an ugly sewer-dwelling race that have somehow got a foothold in Earth, under the city of Cardiff. Unsettlingly, some of them have begun to go rogue, coming above ground to maim and murder Cardiff's civilian population. Jack and his team can keep them in check, more or less, with nightly patrols, but it's taking a toll on all of them.

Owen, Torchwood's resident medical genius, is sure that with technologist Tosh's help he can invent a device that disables the Weevils remotely, bringing an end to nasty fights with spray cans of Weevil sedative. Their first test run is a qualified success, but then Owen has to go and get...creative.

Goaded by Suzie's scoffing that he's just a patch-up man, and annoyed that Jack won't let him breed a Weevil supervirus, Owen modifies the device he and Tosh invented. His redesign should send out a pulse that keeps Weevils underground completely, but Jack won't let Owen test it. Tosh agrees to help Owen set it up, but when Owen turns it on it backfires, sending the entire Weevil population topside.

Now Tosh is angry Owen used her, Jack is angry at Tosh and Owen, Suzie is angry on general principle, and Torchwood has to find a way to drive the Weevils back underground before they spread. Which might just involve Owen, the Weevil Device, and a race through the sewers ahead of a pack of ravening aliens with giant pointy teeth.

It's three am; do you know where your Weevils are?

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Suzie: Thanks for the advice, Owen, but you should stick to stitch-ups and butterfly bandages, they're really what you're good at.  
Owen: What, I can't have an opinion just because I have a medical degree?  
Suzie: I'm just saying, I'm second-in-command and you're not.  
Owen: You don't think I can hack this. I've been here three years, you know, that's just as long as you.  
Suzie: And yet, you're not second in command.  
Owen: Who wants to follow Jack around like a puppy?  
Suzie: You do. It's just cute you won't admit it.

Tosh: You always meant to turn it on. You tricked me.  
Owen: Oh, come off it, Tosh. You wanted to see it go just as much as I did.  
Tosh: I listened when Jack said no.  
Owen: Yeah, because you're just as insubordinate as I am, but _you_ have to have someone lead the way first.  
Tosh: Sometimes you make me so angry, Owen!  
Owen: Then do something about it, or stop talking about it.  
Tosh: [punches Owen]  
Owen: You punched me!  
Jack: Hi kids. Guess what? You're both grounded _forever._

Jack: I said this wouldn't work!  
Owen: It did work!  
Jack: I'm sorry, have you looked outside at WeevilLand UK?

Suzie: It isn't Tosh's fault, you know, not really.  
Jack: Yeah. I know.  
Suzie: Still going to punish her?  
Jack: She knows I was angry. For her, that's punishment enough.  
Suzie: What about Owen?  
Jack: I dunno. What do you think?  
Suzie: I think you should make him wear a dress for a week.  
Jack: This is why you're second-in-command.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

A Brief History Of The Weevil  
by Suzie Costello

According to Torchwood records, the first known encounter with Weevils took place during the construction of the Hub. Excavators uncovered unused sewage pipes leading out to the bay which were prime nesting grounds for Weevils. Records state that an unidentified Torchwood staff member (listed only as Hire Agent H) entered the pipe and singlehandedly subdued fifteen Weevils, including two pregnant females, who are known to be especially violent.

Apparently the Weevils were not immediately killed, but executed shortly thereafter by the head of Torchwood at the time. There is a letter of protest from Hire Agent H on file.

Torchwood leadership believed the infestation to be isolated, possibly caused by Rift activity, but in the coming months as more Hub excavations were made, more Weevils were captured or killed. Some were kept as study specimens. Two more letters of protest seem to indicate that at least one Weevil was vivisected.

Once the excavation was complete nothing more was heard of them until the late 1970s, when an operative codenamed Ladykiller (like to have met him!) stumbled over the body of one during a subterranean apprehension. Two more living Weevils were, apparently, eating the dead one.

Since then there have been isolated reports of Weevils in basements, sewer systems, and various access tunnels. It is only in the past three to five years that Weevils have begun to come aboveground. It is uncertain why; theories include overpopulation underground or a shift in Rift activity that has unsettled them.

Owen has made some observations about them: they seem unable to communicate verbally, but have an excellent sense of smell and hunt in packs, so they must communicate _somehow._ Serrated teeth suggest that in their native environment they eat meat either as a major portion of their diet or the only ingredient. They will consume any protein they encounter, including common cannibalism. They are susceptible to a chemical mix Jack and Owen came up with, which makes them docile and confused long enough to be subdued. Subdued Weevils are examined, tagged, and re-released underground. Tagged Weevils caught a second time are euthanised.

To the best of our knowledge, four deaths have been attributed to Weevil activity in the past ten years.

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -12  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 2

Alien activity: Mainly Weevils, but I'm toying with the idea that Owen has been possessed by something malevolent.

Rift activity: Negligible.

Security: Owen went against my direct orders and activated the Weevilator with Tosh's assistance. Tosh is only partly to blame for this. I know she can't resist a challenge and she thought he wasn't going to throw the switch. Suzie also goaded Owen into this. I am not terribly pleased with my team right now.

Other security issues: Tosh punched Owen. I didn't think she had it in her. Should have known better.

Staff: Suzie is complaining that we are understaffed, and it might be true. Selecting staff for Torchwood Three is a tricky business, though. I'll look into it, but I haven't made any promises.

Other Staff issues: They have so many. Where do I start?

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.03 Plague**

A new disease has appeared in Cardiff, as deadly as it is contagious. Affecting only a small part of the population, for now, it is nevertheless a serious threat. Owen, monitoring hospital reports, brings the disease to Jack's attention, and nobody is happy with Jack's reaction, a mixture of fear and horror.

Jack calls the disease "Star Twelve Influenza", a bioweapon created by a religious cult in Earth's future. Owen thinks it may have passed through the Rift on its own, but Jack insists that according to research on Star Twelve Influenza there's always a carrier who also carries a cure.

With police and emergency services at a bare minimum as the disease begins to go pandemic, Cardiff is in chaos. Owen and Tosh are both struck ill, though Tosh hides her symptoms and Owen continues to work on a cure. Suzie and Jack seem immune; Jack claims he's "had his shots" against it, and that Suzie must be naturally resistant.

The search for one carrier in a city of sick people seems overwhelming, but Owen has discovered a mutation in the disease that allows Tosh and Suzie to track it backwards through a series of patients, to the original -- a young alien boy, lost and afraid, who carried the disease with him when the Rift took him away from the Star Twelve cult.

What Jack never mentioned is that the carrier has to be killed in order for the cure to be extracted. Jack wouldn't permit child-killing even if Owen could bring himself to do such a thing, but soon they may have no choice.

With time growing short, Suzie suggests a radical solution: a reprogramming of the original virus, using one of Tosh's gadgets, to search out and destroy its mutated descendants -- a copy of the cure in function if not in form. It's just in time to save Owen and Tosh, but with half the streets barricaded, Jack must struggle to spread the anti-viral virus to every center of infection in the city.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Owen: I've never seen anything like this.  
Jack: Star Twelve Influenza.  
Owen: What?  
Jack: It's from the future -- it was a biological agent developed by the Star Twelve cult. It's not actually the flu at all, they just called it that.  
Tosh: How do you know?  
Jack: Once you see Star Twelve, you never forget it.

Jack: Oh, no. Oh, no no no.  
Tosh: What? We've found the carrier, we can get the cure --  
Jack: Listen, I wasn't totally honest with you before.  
Suzie: Jack...  
Jack: Star Twelve Influenza was a religious bioweapon. They sent in a carrier to a community, the carrier affected everyone, then the carrier died to cure everyone. Evangelizing along the way.  
Tosh: Very Judeo-Christian.  
Owen: I really hate religion.  
Suzie: But that means --  
Jack: If we want the cure we have to kill him.  
Owen: I'm not vivisecting a child, Jack. I don't have many standards but I draw the line at killing kiddies.

Suzie: I'm a genius.  
Owen: We're all geniuses, that's why we're here. Tosh is a genius. I'm a genius.  
Jack: I'm not a genius. I just look really good in the coat.  
Suzie: Very true, but I am a genius among geniuses.  
Owen: Whenever you're done, Suzie, time's a little short, I'm a _dying_ genius.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

From: O.Harper  
To: CJH  
Re: The Tax Dollars You Don't Pay, At Work!

Jack,

Well, you wanted proof that the software Tosh "found" for me was useful after it crashed Mainframe?

This is our little Star Twelve bug. Pretty critter, isn't it?

I'm pretty sure I can create a permanent airborne vaccine for it. We fumigate the Earth, no more Star Twelve for at least fifty years.

\-- Owen

***

Torchwood Internal Server Chat Log

Jack: Suzie!  
Suzie: Jack?  
Jack: Drinks.  
Suzie: Done. Just waiting on one of the stacks to compile.  
Jack: Dirty.  
Suzie: I like you when a case goes well.  
Jack: Glad one of us does. How are you holding up?  
Suzie: No more cough, no more headache.  
Jack: When we're good we are good.  
Suzie: Do you ever think about what people would think of us if they knew?  
Jack: I used to. I used to think about what _we_ think about us.  
Suzie: There's the headache coming back.  
Jack: That's why Drinks!  
Suzie: Are you actually going to have a drink? In celebration?  
Jack: I might.  
Suzie: You always say that.  
Jack: Tonight I probably will.  
Suzie: Aren't you glad we did well, Jack?  
Jack: Sure.  
Suzie: But  
Jack: But I remember Star Twelve the last time it hit. Back then we didn't know it was designer. I was on the team sent to figure it out. I saw a lot of bodies.  
Suzie: How many?  
Jack: Put it this way: it felt like a whole planet had died.  
Suzie: But that's not literally true, is it?  
Jack: You're buying the first round.

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -11  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 3

Alien activity: A Star Twelve Influenza carrier came through the Rift and nearly wiped out Cardiff. More temporal than alien, but he was still an alien.

Rift activity: Bordering on perilous. Throwing junk in the bay is one thing, but the Rift let through a dangerous disease carrier.

Security: Going to have to talk to the local hospitals about the Torchwood badge. It should carry more weight in situations like that than it did. Also, we should re-run our decontam protocol drills.

Other security issues: Hub's on standby tonight. I'll be offline for the next fourteen hours at least. Owen and Suzie can handle anything. At least, once Suzie gets rid of the hangover we're going to create tonight.

Staff: They're working well together as a team. Suzie can be a little obsessive, but Owen takes her out of herself. Tosh keeps Owen in check, and they both look after her. Seems to work.

Other Staff issues: Sometimes I want to tell them how I know what I know. Never going to happen, but I still want to.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.04 Till Death Do Us Part**

Ever since they started shipping the remains of Torchwood London back to Cardiff, Suzie has been complaining about the lack of storage space in the Hub's archives. It's not that the Hub's not big enough to hold all they have and then some; it's that only the uppermost six levels are in use. Suzie, as de-facto archivist (nobody else wanted the job), is frustrated by the lack of storage space, but more frustrated that nobody has the time or inclination to help her. Tosh is busy building a translation program and trying to construct a rift-prediction mechanism, Owen just plain doesn't want to, and Jack has his hands full with command duties. As a matter of fact, Torchwood is feeling a little understaffed all over, especially when nobody wants to take responsibility for the broken-down water pipes and the food-ordering rota has gone to hell.

Suzie decides that her only resort and escape is to explore the lower levels, opening up rooms as she goes. While the others keep themselves distracted topside, Suzie makes harrowing and unusual discoveries. There is a room on level eight with Jack Harkness's name on it and a Victorian bedstead with the shackles still attached. There's another room full of animal skeletons, and one where the door is very firmly locked, not to mention barred over and nailed shut.

One of the rooms appears to have already been taken over as an archive, and is filled with mysterious dusty gadgets. One of them, a small handheld sphere, catches both her and Owen by surprise when Owen is sent down to fetch her for a briefing, and results in a short but passionate encounter against a file cabinet.

While trying to find a containment box for the sphere, Suzie and a somewhat disheveled Owen come across a crate with a singular gauntlet in it, a metal glove that looks like it came straight from the middle ages. Suzie is taken with it from the first and brings it back up to the Hub with her, where Jack confirms it was hauled out of the bay decades ago and locked away when nobody was willing to put their hand in it. Suzie, thinking of the cell down below with Jack's name on it, wants to know how he knew that, but Jack's not telling.

Nobody knows what the glove does, but Suzie is determined to find out. Her fascination with the glove leads her back down to level eight, but something that lay dormant has been woken by Suzie's explorations, and now it's hungry.

Hunted by something she can't see or hear, Suzie barely makes it back in one piece to warn the others. The team must prevent the monster from below from escaping, but it's clever, and it's growing. Jack finally realises that the monster fears metal when it avoids the walkways and support posts of the upper levels. Taking a desperate gamble, he dons the glove Suzie found earlier and manages to subdue the creature, holding onto it with the glove long enough for everyone to hear its terrible death howl.

In the aftermath, Jack promises that the entire team will work on opening the lower levels, cautiously, and the next time Suzie passes by the room with his name on it, she notices the name has been sanded away.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Jack: I am a highly trained precision military commander with a superior knowledge of alien technology and, incidentally, the ability to identify things the rest of you have never even dreamed of. Why am I the one fixing the pipes?  
Suzie: You're the tallest, and Owen doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to grip.  
Owen: See if I stitch you up the next time some alien nasty bites you.  
Jack: Shouldn't we have people who do this for us?  
Tosh: I could call a plumber.  
Owen: And say what, that our secret underground base has sprung a leak?  
Tosh: I'd be more subtle than that.

Suzie: Did we just...?  
Owen: Have the best sex of our lives? Very possibly.  
Suzie: Are you going to be weird about this?  
Owen: Nah. No. Course not.  
Suzie: Great, you're already weird about it.

Jack: You two look like you've been having fun.  
Owen: Oh yeah, loads. Clearing out storage rooms is my idea of a good time.  
Suzie: Brought you a present, Jack.  
Jack: Oh yeah? Oooh. Come to papa.  
Suzie: Maybe you could set it up with your hand in the jar.  
Jack: Don't knock the hand.  
Tosh: What's the hand for, anyway?  
Jack: It has sentimental value.  
Suzie: He won it in a poker game.

Tosh: So what does the glove do?  
Jack: Don't know. We dredged it out of the bay in the sixties, cleaned it off, stashed it away.  
Owen: "We"?  
Jack: We Torchwood. I always thought it must be some kind of telekinetic device.  
Tosh: You've seen it before then.  
Jack: Eh, it's a glove. You want to run some tests, be my guest.  
Suzie: Bags! [grabs the glove]  
Tosh: So not fair.  
Suzie: You can have it when I'm done waving it around to see if it makes sparkles.

Suzie: Headed home?  
Owen: After that thing? No. I'm going to go drink a lot. Want to come?  
Suzie: Sure you want that?  
Owen: Why not? It's a good time, nobody'll get the life sucked out of them.  
Suzie: Drinks at mine.  
Owen: I'll get my car.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -10  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 4

Alien activity: Technology; unidentified parasite in the Hub, god knows how long it had been down there.

Rift activity: Nothing new.

Security: Better records-keeping is absolutely mandatory. Suzie agrees, but she can't do it all alone. Either Owen's going to have to step up and be trained, or I'm going to have to take on some of Tosh's work so she can help. If we'd known what was in the storage room, we wouldn't have let it get out.

Other security issues: A lot of the old understructure of the Hub needs to be locked down. Making this a priority, between violent deaths and gun battles. If Suzie had found the exam room before I had time to get my name off the door, there would have been awkward questions. Either that or she _did_ and is ignoring it.

Staff: There's no doubt we're all overworked, but it's stupid details stuff -- cleaning, food, whose turn it is to get the SUV serviced. The rotas are a great idea but if someone doesn't do their part (OWEN) it's not going to work. Maybe I need to crack the whip a little.

Other Staff issues: Suzie and Owen. Knew all that tension had to break out somehow. If there had been an office pool, I would have won it.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.05 Jones Ianto Jones**

Out on a Weevil-hunt in a local Cardiff park one evening, Jack encounters a young man who knows more than he should about Torchwood. Ianto Jones seems to know not only what Weevils are but a fair bit about how to fight them. Jack brushes him off and makes his getaway, but once he has the Weevil stashed in the Hub he wants to know everything about young Jones.

He may regret asking when the name rings a bell with Suzie, who uncovers the fact that Jones is one of the few surviving employees of Torchwood One, and therefore a veteran of the attack that destroyed Torchwood's London headquarters and killed more than eight hundred people. Suzie thinks a resourceful kid like Jones is just what Torchwood needs, but Jack doesn't want anything to do with Torchwood London, even by proxy. When Jones turns up at the Hub the next morning, asking for a job, Jack rejects him out of hand.

Jack has more important things to think about, anyway, like a dead paramedic found holding what looks like a sword -- or rather, half of a sword. It's a reasonably routine operation, retrieving an artifact and securing it in the archives, but obviously the sword is dangerous, and Jack wants to be certain it won't hurt anyone else once they locate the other half.

Then, while Jack is out on a routine Rift-spike investigation run, Ianto Jones turns up again. This time he has a feral pterodactyl that needs catching, and shows enough resourcefulness and dedication that Jack revises his opinion and hires him, though he makes it plain he doesn't trust him.

Unfortunately he's going to have to, because on Ianto's first day an armed gang of intergalactic gun-runners comes looking for the sword and will do anything to get it. The team must rely on the new boy to stall the gun-runners upstairs while they prepare a counter-attack, but Jones is an unknown quantity and hasn't been trained in emergency lockdown procedures.

To the team's surprise, Jones manages to hold his own against the attackers until Jack can lay a trap for them. Ianto may think he's failed when he's finally overpowered, but as the gun-runners break into the Hub atrium Jack's trap springs shut and the Torchwood team emerges triumphant.

The team is ready to celebrate, Jack included, but Ianto demurs; while they make their way to a nearby pub for a well-deserved pint, he informs the Captain he still has to process and archive the recovered sword and clean up the blood on the Hub floor. Jack, shrugging, leaves him to his work.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Suzie: Ianto Jones, you said?  
Jack: Yeah?  
Suzie: Familiar name... [works at her computer] Right. Thought so. Torchwood One.  
Jack: You're kidding me.  
Suzie: Junior researcher. Going on two years.  
Jack: That dumb kid was Torchwood?  
Suzie: Better still. He was in the tower.  
Jack: What?  
Suzie: Twenty-seven people survived Torchwood One. Fourteen of those were out sick or off-premises for whatever reason. Thirteen of them were actually in the building. Your boy's in a very elite club, Jack.

Jack: So, I hired the kid.  
Suzie: Awww, just for me?  
Jack: He showed promise.  
Suzie: What else did he show you?  
Jack: Oh, how I wish.  
Suzie: Yeah, I saw his file photo. I'm sure hiring him has nothing to do with those cheekbones. He's just cute as a button, Jack.  
Jack: Believe it or not, I don't make hiring decisions with my hormones.  
Suzie: I'm going to go with "not".  
Jack: By the way, there's a pterodactyl in the loading dock.  
Suzie: A what?  
Jack: It might be a pteranadon.

Jack: This is your gun.  
Ianto: My...gun?  
Jack: Ever fired one?  
Ianto: I was a researcher.  
Jack: Research can be dangerous.  
Ianto: No, sir, I've never fired a gun.  
Jack: Okay. I'll get Suzie to teach you later. You're also in charge of archival, she can train you on that, and supplying the team with whatever they need. Equipment, food, services. Petty-cash. Butlering. You know, like you wanted.  
Ianto: Yes, sir.  
Jack: Now, I have just one question for you.  
Ianto: Just one?  
Jack: Can you re-create that coffee you brought me? On a daily basis.  
Ianto: [looking relieved] Yes.  
Jack: Get on it.

Tosh: How are you settling in?  
Ianto: Oh, fairly well.  
Tosh: Different to London, I expect.  
Ianto: More...cluttered, mostly. Soon have it ship-shape, though.  
Tosh: I don't think Jack really wants gleaming white walls and chrome.  
Ianto: No, but he might enjoy not tripping over a pile of files every time he needs to leave the office.  
Tosh: I suppose we're all a bit untidy.  
Ianto: Well, now you have me to take care of that.  
Tosh: Why would you want this job?  
Ianto: Ever thought about leaving Torchwood?  
Tosh: I can't.  
Ianto: Me neither.

Owen: NEW BOY! Going out!  
Suzie: Pints and darts. First round's on Jack.  
Jack: Coming, Ianto?  
Ianto: I'm afraid not.  
Jack: What?  
Ianto: The sword still needs processing; plus there's the blood to be mopped up, and some light repairs to the Tourist office. It won't take long.  
Jack: You're...staying to do work.  
Ianto: I have a very good work ethic.  
Jack: You don't really need to impress me. You know, earlier today, holding off the Kthari, that pretty much spoke for itself.  
Ianto: With all due respect, I wouldn't do it to impress you.  
Jack: Then why?  
Ianto: Someone has to do it. This is what you pay me for.  
Jack: Your choice, Ianto.  
Ianto: Thank you, sir.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

Personnel Profile

IANTO JONES:  
Hire Status: New Hire. Recruited by CJH. Former occupation, Junior Research Assistant, Torchwood London.  
Tenure: New. (2yrs Torchwood London).  
Position(s) held: Current: General Support, Archivist, Deputy Technologist (restricted, see "Security Notes"), Pterodactyl Wrangler. Former: Junior Research Assistant.  
Training: Minimal Firearms (maintenance), no hand-to-hand.

Father: Deceased.  
Mother: Deceased.  
Partner/dependent(s): None.

Security Notes: I. Jones held standard rank security clearance at Torchwood London. New Hire restrictions apply: telephone and home-surveillance, 3mos. Jones is currently restricted from systems access except for the archival database, 1mo. Expect all security restrictions to be lifted within 3mos if he doesn't get himself killed or kicked out first.

General Notes: Jones is eager to work for Torchwood and accepts his current restrictions. Suzie has agreed to monitor him for signs of PTSD post-London. Seems to play well with others, hard worker, well-informed; Cardiff native with extensive knowledge of local history and geography. Great coffee, great ass.

Clearance Level: Restricted, upgrading to Top Secret on completion of 3mo trial period.

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -9  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 5

Alien activity: Another topside Weevil. My life, in weevils!

Rift activity: Rift spat out a pterodactyl and a Magic Sword. Pterodactyl brought an office boy along. Magic Sword brought the gun-runners.

Security: New entry doors worked really well, held back a high-power...photon ray. I can't say photon ray seriously. New office boy worked pretty well too. Not as durable though.

Other security issues: Asked Tosh to work on scan-shielding for a portion of the archives. They never would have come close if we had the sword in proper containment. She has high hopes. Suzie has some ideas. Nice to see them working together. Also, started standard security monitoring on new hire.

Staff: Hired Ianto Jones as General Support.

Other Staff issues: Jones seems shy. Competent in the field but requested -- re-requested -- Hub duty only. Thinks he knows more about pterodactyls than he does. I've asked Suzie to give him his firearms instruction and orientation. I'd like to get to know the kid, he seems resourceful (and kind of into me?) but London's too recent. It'll come in time.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.06 Fiddler In The North**

Jack has always referred to the Glasgow office as a listening station, an almost-dead branch of the Torchwood family tree run by one eccentric Scot. Once or twice a year he turns up items of interest for the Cardiff team to investigate, but most of the time Torchwood Two simply gathers information.

The problem is, people are turning up dead in Glasgow after "white lights" envelop them, leading to rampant speculation about alien abduction. Seocan Young has asked for Torchwood's help, and now that they have an office boy to mind the shop Jack feels confident leaving Cardiff to investigate. Suzie is more reluctant, still deep in her studies on the mysterious gauntlet she uncovered in storage, but Jack insists. With a cheerful admonishment not to get killed, they leave Ianto in Cardiff and head northwards.

Seocan, who is every bit as weird as Jack warned them, has managed to secure three of the five bodies in a tiny makeshift morgue (otherwise known as his garage). To Owen's surprise, there's a decent medical lab in the garage as well, and he sets to work examining the bodies while Tosh arranges the equipment they've brought up with them and Jack and Suzie go out into Glasgow with Seocan to try and steal the latest victim from the police.

When they return successful, they find a very puzzled Tosh, whose equipment goes haywire every time it gets near the bodies, and an even more puzzled Owen, who has discovered that their blood types don't match any ordinary human's. Before Owen can finish his assessment, however, there's a crash from the garage and they rush in to find Suzie and a very _alive_ victim -- well, alive for all of twenty seconds, anyway.

Suzie, it turns out, has brought the glove with her to study its potential effects outside of the Hub. Jack is furious, but also intrigued; the glove can revive the dead, if only for short periods of time. It's of no use on the older victims, but Suzie is certain that if she can get at some of the more recent bodies she can revive them long enough to ask them what happened. The police, on the other hand, don't recognise Torchwood's authority, and getting them to give up the bodies could take precious time they don't have.

The team is now faced with two problems: breaking into a police morgue and, once they have, compiling the data Suzie wrings from the corpses into something useful. With the time they have, they've only managed to glean the fact that all the revivable victims were either at a specific nightclub the night they were taken, or were actually taken from the nightclub itself. They rush to the nightclub, but before they can investigate properly Tosh is enveloped in white light and disappears.

With time running out for Tosh, they realise that they have to find whoever has the alien device that's "stealing" people. It's Owen who finally spots the murderer, a young woman hooked on an alien box that strips the victim's blood and feeds it to the operator as energy. Once they've taken the box from her, it's not long before Tosh is restored and whole again. Just in time to return to the Hub -- a Hub that in their absence has been unobtrusively cleaned by Ianto, who greets them with fresh coffee and sandwiches.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Owen: How long have you known Jack, anyway?  
Seocan: Oh, he's been with Torchwood as long as I ever have.  
Tosh: When did you join?  
Seocan: '73.  
Owen: No way. Jack would've been a kid then.  
Seocan: He's aged well. Nice for some. Spent a little time on the Rift myself, after the unpleasantness with Alex, poor bastard.  
Tosh: Who's Alex?  
Seocan: He hasn't told you?  
Owen: The things Jack hasn't told us would fill a book that'll never be written.  
Seocan: I worked with him for a bit -- Edinburgh boy. He went down to Cardiff...oh, a while back, took the reins down there. Ran a tight ship, given what he had to work with. Which wasn't much. Maybe s'what made him crack.  
Tosh: Crack?  
Seocan: New Year's Eve, 1999. I got a call from Jack, drove down in the middle of the night. Got there the next day, found him sitting in the middle of a bloodbath. Never could figure out what happened exactly, though the CCTV told us some. Jack doesn't like to talk about it.  
Owen: But you do.  
Seocan: Alex sent Jack out on New Year's Eve, then locked down the Hub and shot the whole team. Young team, too. Said it was a mercy killing. Unlocked the Hub, Jack came back, Alex shot himself. Bout as far away from Jack as where you are from me now.  
Owen: Bollocks.  
Seocan: God's honest truth, I saw the footage. Jack still had blood on his face when I got there. That's how he got to be leader. Everyone else was dead.

Suzie: Jack. Don't be mad.  
Jack: Suzie, don't do things that _make_ me mad.  
Suzie: I brought the glove along.  
Owen: Have I mentioned how creeped out I am by that thing?  
Suzie: I think the glove brings people back to life. I put it on and touched the victim's forehead --  
Jack: What on -- what possessed you to put on an alien gauntlet and touch dead people with it?  
Suzie: The spirit of scientific inquiry.  
Jack: That's so...okay. Actually I can't argue with that. But when we get home you are so grounded.  
Suzie: Yes, dad.

Ianto: [answering phone] Good evening, Captain.  
Jack: Ianto Jones! What are you wearing?  
Ianto: Savile Row.  
Jack: Are you still at the Hub?  
Ianto: Just clearing up a few things.  
Jack: How's Cardiff holding up?  
Ianto: Ticking along. Few reports for you to look over when you get back.  
Jack: Oh?  
Ianto: Power fluctuations in the Hub grid. CCTV went out for a bit. Nothing major. How is Glasgow?  
Jack: Suzie brought the glove along. She thinks she's figured out what it does. Wanna guess?  
Ianto: I'm sure I couldn't.  
Jack: It revives the dead. I'm torn between that being really neat and something we should lock up forever and throw away the key.  
Ianto: What do the others think?  
Jack: Owen thinks it needs a cool name.

Tosh: So you want us to break into the police morgue, steal two bodies, and bring them to life with alien tech.  
Jack: Yeah, pretty much.  
Tosh: I _love_ this job.

Jack: This glove.  
Suzie: It could be useful, Jack.  
Jack: Could be dangerous.  
Suzie: I'll do all the testing myself. Rigorous safety procedures.  
Jack: Don't let it interfere with your work for the team.  
Suzie: It won't.  
Jack: All right, then get on it. [Suzie turns to leave] Hey!  
Suzie: Yes?  
Jack: Does the Hub look different to you?  
Suzie: I think Ianto cleaned it or something.  
Jack: Huh.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

***

To: T. Sato  
From: CJH  
Subject: Re: Snap

Seocan insisted. I have no regrets. Publish and be damned!

Message Received From: T. Sato [t.sato@torchwood.org]

> Jack:  
>  
> And you thought I didn't know how to use a spy camera.  
> Hope you didn't put it on Torchwood's expense account.  
> Bad form wasting company time playing dress-up!  
>  
> Twenty quid not to send it to Suzie.  
>  
> Tosh  
>  
> ATTACHED FILE: jack.kilt.jpg  


 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -8  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 6

Alien activity: Some tech in Glasgow. Nasty little thing, almost ate Tosh. She's better now.

Rift activity: Negligible. Ianto reported no spikes or shocks.

Security: Remote partial-lockdown for the Hub worked like a charm. It's not that I don't trust Ianto yet, it's just...I don't trust Ianto yet. Being able to control various Hub functions from my phone was useful. Can't let Owen have that power though. He'd only use it for evil.

Other security issues: I'd like to think this was a fluke, but if the Glasgow office is going to deal with actual aliens or alien tech on a regular basis, Seocan will have to do some hiring. We might think about vetting some people down here just in case. No actual approach or recruit, just background research.

Staff: Interoffice cooperation was high, probably because everyone was afraid Seocan would go actual nuts if they disagreed. Suzie likes to touch dead things with alien tech.

Other Staff issues: Ianto did very well holding down the Hub while we were gone, apart from the power outage. He cleaned, too. Useful.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.07 We Eat What We Kill**

The episode opens, strangely, with a voice-over by Ianto, who explains (presumably to the viewer) that Torchwood is an organisation indpendent of nationality. Although Cardiff's branch was once funded by the government of Great Britain, it has had to depend on its wits since Jack broke ties with London and London was destroyed.

Ianto continues to narrate events, sometimes not entirely accurately, as Jack and Suzie depart for an evening of "fundraising", selling services (aided by alien equipment) to the highest bidder and trying to make contact with passing alien ships in the hopes of selling off scrap. Soon after they depart, a team of hackers attacks Torchwood's mainframe and Tosh decides to play some games with them before crushing them utterly. Owen pulls a fascinated Ianto away to take him on a training mission, educating him in the fine art of fooling, retconning, and lying to the British public.

Tosh monitors both teams from the Hub as she engages in "BackHacking", tracing down the hackers trying to break into the Mainframe and hitting them back while they're distracted. What she finds, however, is deeply unsettling: one of the hackers is planning to bomb a major location in London, though they're not clear on just what. Here, for the first time, the audience hears a woman _replying_ to Ianto's narration, asking where the bomb was supposed to be and what happened next.

Ianto explains that, with Jack and Suzie unreachable, Owen and Tosh have to try and figure out who the bomb is aimed at, since it had already been planted. Their only clue is an image one of the hackers emailed to another: a five-pound note, riddled with bulletholes.

It is Ianto who solves the riddle correctly, covertly tipping off Tosh by idly mentioning to her that the Queen is at Windsor for the first time in weeks. They manage to avert the crisis, sending UNIT in to defuse a bomb in the Royal residence, and when Jack returns with Suzie it is to a telephone call from Her Majesty, offering to reinstate Torchwood's financial support.

Ianto, sitting in a dim room in the Hub, sums up the end of the story and it is revealed that his audience is, in fact, his girlfriend Lisa. She is not dead at all, but imprisoned in a Cyber-conversion unit, half-converted and unable to move. She is outraged that Ianto got no credit for helping Owen and Tosh, but Ianto insists that the less notice taken of him, the better. He then tells her to get some rest, kisses her, and departs.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Jack: We're going fundraising.  
Ianto: Fundraising, sir?  
Suzie: Torchwood's an independent underfunded --  
Jack: Un-funded.  
Suzie: -- law enforcement agency, technically speaking. We lost our funding when Jack dissociated from London.  
Jack: It was a choice between losing our funding or selling our souls. Sue me, I have a vested interest in your souls.  
Suzie: So now, every few months, we go out fundraising. It's not bad work, really. We sell some scrap, offer some services, make some money, and come home with enough to pay everyone's salary for a while.  
Jack: Someone's got to keep the pterodactyl in fish-heads and squeaky balls.

Jack: You know, you don't have to put up with Suzie when she gets that way. You can tell her to go to hell, she'll respect you for it.  
Ianto: I don't mind.  
Jack: Yeah, that's what I can't figure out.  
Ianto: I like her. She's the only one who hasn't had a go at me over London.  
Jack: Are Owen and Tosh bothering you?  
Ianto: Nothing cruel. Just questions. Suzie doesn't ask questions. Not that kind.  
Jack: And you like it that way.  
Ianto: Yes.

Jack: Mmhm. Yes ma'am. Yes, ma'am. No, I don't know that -- I see. That's generous, but we can't give up our non-national status...oh. Yes. Yes ma'am. I understand. Thank you, ma'am.  
Owen: what was that all about?  
Jack: That was a telephone call from Her Majesty.  
Tosh: The --  
Jack: Yeah.  
Suzie: What did she want?  
Jack: She's reinstating Crown funding for Torchwood. We retain our autonomy, the government will support Torchwood financially and legally, and you two are definitely getting raises.

Lisa: But you should get a raise too! You solved the puzzle!  
Ianto: I'd like that. I might get one anyway.  
Lisa: You should tell him.  
Ianto: I can't do that, you know I can't. I have to be invisible. For both our sakes. The less they care about what I do, the easier it will be to get you help.  
Lisa: Brave Ianto.  
Ianto: Not really. I'm scared of the Captain.  
Lisa: He sounds nice.  
Ianto: He _sounds_ nice. [kisses her] Get some rest. I'll be down in a few hours to change your IV.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

***

From: CHJ  
To: All Staff

Okay, kids!

Here is what the Crown Funding means for you.

Suzie: Buy yourself that membership to the academic database you've been wanting. Take inventory of our arms locker (get Ianto to help) and figure out what we need to make it a truly magnificent monument to ballistic weaponry. Anything below a bazooka. Figure out what Tosh needs to upgrade the SUV and send me a full report.

Owen: Two new gurneys. I know you're good at cannibalizing parts for the cryo units, but buy yourself something shiny to make all our guests feel more at home. Stop stealing medical software and pay the registration on some of it.

Tosh: Whatever baby wants, baby gets. Find out what Mainframe needs. I want upgrades on everyone's personal Torchwood computer. Including the TIC computer -- do what needs to be done and then put the old casing over it.

Everyone: Send your proposals through Ianto, he'll vet them budgetwise and pass them on to me for final signoff.

Ianto: New squeaky ball for the pterodactyl. Think up some creature comforts for this place and run them past me. Archival supplies within reason. The others will tap you as needed for repair/upgrade assistance once the new parts come in.

Hop to. Once we've squared away expenditures on all this, I'll work out budgetwise what I can do for everyone in terms of salary. Or I will make Ianto do it.

CJH

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -7  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 7

Alien activity: Torchwood-initiated contact with several races (see file #XQ9339-2 for full account).

Rift activity: None.

Security: Hackers attacked Mainframe. Tangentially, someone tried to bomb the Queen out of Windsor.

Other security issues: Per our deft intervention in an assassination plot on Her Royal Highness, Torchwood is being reinstated in the Crown's good graces. We are now funded by the government of Great Britain with the understanding that we retain our autonomy. We'll see how this works in practice.

Staff: Ianto is now officially trained in retcon procedure.

Other Staff issues: Tosh took care of our hackers with thinly-veiled glee. I need to remind myself to unplug my computers from the network if I ever piss her off. Ianto is quiet but seems to be thriving. Suzie reports no signs of PTSD, which is a little surprising, but I suppose she would be the one to notice it. Even if she and Owen keep sneaking off like they think none of us have noticed.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.08 The Making of Toshiko**

It's an almost domestic scene of Torchwood: Owen and Suzie working on experiments, Ianto filing and making coffee, and Jack and Tosh at her workstation, as Jack teaches her an elaborate confidence trick with playing cards. Jack is obviously pleased with Tosh's abilities, but warns her that math and technology are just small portions of the confidence game.

His assertions are soon to be proven. Suzie has taken to making the rounds of the coroner's office, testing the glove on the recently and not-so-recently deceased to see if she can gain any skill in resurrection. A couple of the bodies have come from the Lucky Thief Spa and Casino in Cardiff, and Suzie wants to know why.

Jack and Suzie attempt to go undercover at the Lucky Thief, but Jack is identified almost immediately and poisoned. He ends up in Owen's medbay, fevered and fighting for his life, but conscious enough to insist that Tosh is not only best qualified but prepared to go in undercover in their place.

Toshiko has many doubts; she knows she's not a smooth-talker like Jack, but she also knows that none of the others can count cards as well as she can. She accepts the mission and poses as a young, wealthy playgirl with money to burn, eventually earning an invitation to a private back-room poker game for VIPs. One of the other VIPs, meeting her at a bar, explains the way the back-room game works: the proprietors are aliens who play high-stakes poker where the losers pay not with money but with their lives. They do it for the thrill; Tosh will have to do it to maintain her cover until she can notify Torchwood of what's going on.

Tosh isn't at all secure in her role as a confident, care-free heiress, but in the clutch she pulls out all the stops and charms her fellow-players completely. There's still the question of how she's going to get out and warn the team, but the cavalry arrives in the form of Suzie, posing as a waiter, who summons her to a call in the other room. Her fellow players insist she finish out the game. Tosh's life now depends on her ability to bluff, which she manages brilliantly.

Once Tosh is clear, Owen and Suzie storm the room and take down the bad guys. She returns to find Jack almost completely recovered and basks in his pride over her achievement -- for ten minutes, until the next call comes through and Torchwood must mobilise once more.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Ianto: Suzie, I think this might interest you.  
Suzie: What is it?  
Ianto: [reveals an enormous knife]  
Suzie: Uh. That's a very nice...dagger, Ianto.  
Ianto: The record was crosslinked to the gauntlet in the database.  
Suzie: I checked the database when I recovered the glove, there's no crosslinks there.  
Ianto: Sloppy records-keeping. The knife linked to the glove, the glove didn't link to the knife. Came across it by accident.  
Suzie: What's the link?  
Ianto: Same alloy signature, apparently.  
Suzie: Well, toss it on the bench, I'll take a look when I'm done here.

Suzie: Fun fact: Welsh is the thirteenth oldest word in the Oxford English Dictionary.  
Jack: What's the oldest?  
Suzie: Chiule.  
Jack: That's not English.  
Suzie: It's a kind of boat.  
Jack: [shouting across the Hub] IANTO!  
Ianto: [shouting back] SIR?  
Jack: WHAT'S A CHIULE?  
Ianto: KIND OF BOAT, SIR.  
Suzie: Words older than "Welsh" include Town, Swear, and Thief.  
Jack: Going anywhere with this?  
Suzie: No, it's just a fun segue into a case. Someone's robbing and killing people at the Lucky Thief Casino in Cardiff.  
Jack: Appropriate name?  
Suzie: Let me tell you more.  
Jack: Suzie, beautiful, tell me more.

Suzie: How is he?  
Owen: Think he'll survive. I frankly don't know why he's not dead already, other than he's too stubborn to go.  
Jack: I can fight the poison.  
Owen: Your temperature spikes any more, Jack, I'm going to have to strip you and cover you in cold packs.  
Jack: I've had worse dates.  
Owen: It's going to be at least three days and we need to get someone in there soon.  
Jack: Tosh. S'gotta be Tosh.

Tosh: Why me?  
Suzie: Well, according to Jack, they know my face and Owen doesn't have the skills.  
Tosh: What about Ianto?  
Suzie: Ianto? Seriously?  
Tosh: Right. Guess it's me.

Jack: Hey. Tosh. C'mere.  
Tosh: Yes?  
Jack: You're a good agent and I've never had any reason not to be proud of you.  
Tosh: That's...good?  
Jack: But see, now I'm proud of you because you're a _great_ con.  
Tosh: Thank you, Jack.  
Jack: Don't forget it. Someday it might serve you well.  
Tosh: Were you ever a con-man, Jack? Professionally?  
Jack: Long time ago.  
Tosh: What changed?  
Jack: I did.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

From: I. Jones  
To: S. Costello  
Subject: Re: I Stole Jack's Soup

Suzie,

So glad you left some soup for Jack, but I can't give you the brand name because I made it. Recipe's below. Sorry about the Imperial measurements.

I

"Vegetable Soup For Use When Torchwood's Leader Has Been Poisoned"

1 large onion diced (or 1 cup)  
1-2 cloves garlic, minced  
vegetable oil for sauteeing  
1 stalk of celery diced  
2 carrots diced  
2 small potatoes, peeled and diced (2 cups)  
4 cups chicken broth  
Curry powder to taste  
Spoonful of: cayenne, ginger, black pepper, salt (if desired)  
1/4 cup smooth peanut butter  
Minced parsley or green onions chopped for garnish

Sautee onion and garlic in oil. Add celery, carrots, potatoes, and curry powder; stir. Add broth.  
Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer until vegs are tender, about 15 minutes. Stir in the spices and peanut butter. Puree if desired.

***

From: S. Costello  
To: I. Jones  
Subject: Re: I Stole Jack's Soup

You made that soup? Out of real vegetables? Stirred it in a pot yourself? You pureed him soup?

You have such a crush on him, it's kind of hilarious.

Suzie

***

From: I. Jones  
To: S. Costello  
Subject: Re: I Stole Jack's Soup

I don't know what you're talking about. Tinned soup is terrible for sick people, it's full of salt and preservatives. Last thing he needed was more poison.

***

From: S. Costello  
To: I. Jones  
Subject: IANTO'S GIGANTIC CRUSH

All I'm saying is that you are mad for him and too emotionally retarded to make the first move.

***

From: I. Jones  
To: S. Costello  
Subject: (no subject)

You need a hobby of some kind.

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -6  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 8

Alien activity: Thonians. God, Thonians. They decided to come here and play poker for illegal stakes and we had to kick their asses. I am so over Thonians.

Rift activity: Mile a minute. Nothing major, but constant activity since we closed the casino case. If it weren't for Ianto's coffee I don't know what we'd do.

Security: During initial recon of the Thonian operation I was spotted and poisoned. We're lucky Suzie wasn't poisoned as well. I was relieved of duty for three days following, confined to Owen's medbay. We need to hang some curtains in there or something.

Other security issues: None.

Staff: Tosh really pulled it together and did a great job in a difficult situation. She knows I'm proud of her, but I told her anyway. She'd make one hell of a con-man if she ever left Torchwood.

Other Staff issues: Suzie did extremely well in command while I was indisposed. Ianto refused to clasp my hand romantically and soothe my fevered brow but he did bring me soup. Owen has _really cold hands._

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.09 Sex Sells**

An early morning phone call to Jack Harkness's mobile wakes him from comfortable sleep -- in a bed that isn't his. As he takes the call from Suzie, summoning him to yet another murder scene, a woman sits up from the bed and listens. When he hangs up, she sends him on his way and begins to prepare for work herself.

The woman is Dilys Macarthur, a top ad executive at Cardiff's most successful PR firm, 6L Media&Rep. She doesn't seem like the kind of woman to take up with Jack Harkness, but the entire office is buzzing over the handsome military man who's been taking her out on the town. She thinks he works for an anti-terrorism group, but rumours abound about the mysterious Captain Jack.

Dilys, on the other hand, isn't getting rave reviews from the Torchwood team -- Suzie finds her cold, and Owen seems almost jealous of the attention she gets from their Captain. Tosh, on the other hand, has something more concrete: she's been picking up small Rift spikes at the 6L Media&Rep offices, and Jack's been blocking her from looking into them further. It's not like Jack to let personal affairs interfere with business, so a newly-confident Tosh gets permission from Suzie to investigate independently. Suzie is too busy with research to help out and Owen has a series of murder victims to autopsy now that the police are agreeing to cooperate. Tosh has no choice but to tap Ianto for help.

Breaking into 6L's offices is easy, but once there they find they can't remember _why_ they're there. A second attempt proves that something or someone is defending Dilys Macarthur against outside intrusion.

Jack, when confronted with this evidence, is angry that Tosh chose to investigate without his consent and that Suzie let her do it, but he can't deny that the readings Tosh took are peculiar. He decides to stop at the office during business hours. He, too, finds himself distracted -- with Dilys, who's never done _that_ on her desk before. He decides, as a control test, to send Ianto to speak with her, posing as a young salesman looking for a publicity rep. Ianto barely makes it out without committing an indiscretion with the boss's girlfriend.

Jack, going over pictures of the office taken by remote camera while Ianto was there, notices an odd paperweight on Dilys's desk. He calls it an Attraction Ball, and says they're going to have to lure it out of the office with Dilys, or they'll never be able to get it from her. An elaborate trap with Jack as bait goes off without a hitch -- until Jack falls under the spell of the Attraction Ball, and turns on his team. The fight that ensues wounds Suzie, which manages to shake Jack momentarily from his stupor; with Dilys holding Owen hostage and no choices left, Jack is forced to shoot her, deactivating the Ball and ending the lucrative career of Dilys Macarthur and 6L Media.

Back at the Hub, with most of the team gone home to lick their wounds, Jack finds Ianto attempting to stitch up his own scalp, and takes over the job for him. A casual proposition made in fun goes over well, and the episode closes on the two of them in the med-bay, considering each other.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Owen: I just don't like how much time she takes up from Jack.  
Ianto: You sound jealous.  
Owen: You're projecting, by the way.  
Tosh: I've never seen him like this.  
Suzie: I'm pretty sure he's _always_ like this.  
Tosh: No -- can you remember the last time we knew the actual name of someone he was going out with? Normally he just...has his fun, tells a story about it the next day, and never sees them again.  
Suzie: I really don't have time to dissect Jack's personality flaws. Maybe he's in love.  
Owen: I didn't think that was possible.  
Ianto: They're not in love.  
Suzie: How do you know that?  
Ianto: I have _eyes._ Nobody who's in love lets their partner get away with as much as Jack gets away with.  
Suzie: Ianto the cynic! New side to you.  
Tosh: There's something else, though.  
Suzie: Oh?  
Tosh: I've been picking up Rift activity at their office. Nothing large, no pattern, just little spikes. Jack's been blocking me.  
Owen: Doesn't sound like Jack.  
Suzie: No, it doesn't.

Ianto: Your company prospectus. Three Ls.  
Dilys: Lifestyle, Love, and Lust. It's all you need to show, in the ad business.  
Ianto: How...modern. Then why is your company 6L?  
Dilys: We do everything more.

Jack: How did it go?  
Ianto: It's definitely something in that room.  
Jack: Oh yeah?  
Ianto: I see the attraction, Captain.  
Jack: How'd you get past it?  
Ianto: Closed my eyes and thought of Wales.  
Jack: Good man.

Tosh: Where do you think she got it?  
Jack: Who knows. Maybe picked it up at a boot sale somewhere, liked the look of it. Might have fallen through the Rift.  
Tosh: Is that why...  
Jack: Hm?  
Tosh: Is that why her company did so well? People couldn't say no to her. People couldn't resist her.  
Jack: You're not really asking about the company, are you?  
Tosh: No.  
Jack: You know me, Tosh. Better than anyone else here. You ever see me fall like that for someone?  
Tosh: I haven't been looking, have I?  
Jack: I don't get close to people. You can't, in this life. Especially not me. And...I did. That's the closest I've been to being in love in a long time.  
Tosh: How long?  
Jack: Decades. I mean, it feels like.  
Tosh: You all right, Jack?  
Jack: I will be. Go on home.

Jack: Why didn't you tell Owen you were hurt?  
Ianto: He had to see to you and Suzie first.  
Jack: Well, you could have jumped in line, Mr. Bloody Gash In The Head. This is going to sting.  
Ianto: Yes, it does.  
Jack: Want me to kiss it better?  
Ianto: I'm a little old for a line like that, Captain.  
Jack: Keep telling yourself that, gorgeous.  
Ianto: Didn't it...doesn't it bother the...people you're with, when you do that?  
Jack: Do what?  
Ianto: Flirt with everyone.  
Jack: I was sleeping with her. Told myself that, anyway. We had an understanding. And most of that was based on mind control by alien technology. Now are you going to need your hand held while I put the stitches in?  
Ianto: I think you'll need them both for the stitches.  
Jack: That wasn't a no.  
Ianto: No, it wasn't.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

***

_Letter in Ianto's bookshelf, addressed to T. Sato c/o Roald Dahl Plass TIC or Torchwood_

Tosh,

I thought this job was pretty safe on my end but after recent events I decided I should write this letter just in case. If you've found this then I'm dead but I have responsibilities that need to be seen to so I can't just die, can I?

If I _am_ dead, I need you to look in sublevel five, corridor two, the vault at the end of the hall. There's an injured woman there who needs regular medication and feeding. Her name is Lisa Hallett. She may or may not answer; it sort of depends on the day. Please don't tell Jack, you'll understand why when you see her.

I'm writing this to you because I think I can trust you the most of anyone at Torchwood. There's a Japanese doctor I've been trying to get hold of, you can find his information in my private folder on the server. I'm sure he can help her, but I can't get through to him that I need his help in the first place. Maybe you'll have better luck. Thanks, Tosh.

IJ

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -5  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 9

Alien activity: Nasty piece of alien tech known as an Attraction Ball, for lack of ability to spell its original name. Found and defused. One death, Dilys Macarthur. Attraction Ball or not, she was likeable, and she was innocent. Sometimes I hate this job.

Rift activity: Negligible.

Security: The attraction ball has been affecting my thought processes for at least two months. I prevented Toshiko from investigating it at first because of this. May have to put some kind of checks-and-balances system in place with Suzie so this doesn't happen again, to any of us.

Other security issues: Suzie gave Tosh permission to investigate something I had expressly said we were taking off the table. Right or wrong, I won't have insubordination in my team. I'm going to have to talk to Suzie about it if we ever see each other when we're not at a murder scene.

Staff: Owen was taken hostage briefly, doesn't seem too shaken up about it. I'll keep an eye on him.

Other Staff issues: Minor bumps and bruises from the fight. Owen left before he could get Ianto stitched up -- unpleasant but forgiveable. I recommended that Ianto spend the night at the Hub rather than try to drive home. He seemed to enjoy that. I know I did.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.10 Recovery**

One of Torchwood's duties is to locate and recover anything that falls through the Rift -- objects, animals, humans and aliens. They don't always want to be recovered, either. But Jack has built a haven for those injured by the Rift, an asylum on the windswept Flat Holm island in the Bristol Channel.

The night Jack recovers a young woman who desperately needs Flat Holm's help, he finds himself alone: Suzie isn't answering her mobile, Tosh is in London visiting family, and Owen is out on the pull. He manages to subdue the frantic woman and get her onto the ferry to the island, but a storm is whipping up and the ferry can't return to the mainland anytime soon.

Jack is about to settle in for the night, with a book and some coffee in an unoccupied "hospital" room, when he decides to check in on the Hub one last time. To his surprise, Ianto answers the call and explains that he came by to secure the Hub when he heard about the storm. He informs Jack that he's managed to get hold of Suzie, which is just as well since there's been another suspicious killing and he's sent her to process the scene. In the middle of his report, Jack interrupts; he's heard noises coming from the far end of the corridor, and goes to investigate.

What he finds horrifies him: several of the inhabitants of Flat Holm have been killed, and the woman he brought in, who he thought was too badly injured to put up much of a fight, has disappeared into the depths of the complex. A former gun emplacement and cholera asylum, Flat Holm has thousands of places for a killer to hide -- or plot an ambush.

Jack's primary concern is the staff, who have managed to barricade themselves in the kitchen. Confident that even if he's killed he can't die, he goes after Patient Z -- only to discover that her time in the Rift has given her the power to warp time.

As Jack races through eras of Flat Holm's existence, his connection to the Hub flickers and occasionally breaks. If this woman holds the key to time itself, she might be able to cure his "condition" -- or she might be able to kill him for good, and Jack's not ready for a permanent death just yet.

Ianto, standing by at the Hub, does what he can without asking any questions. Jack finally tracks the woman to an outlying armory and tries to reason with her, but she is beyond reality. Desperate and in pain, she leaps to her death in the storm, leaving Jack with only a cryptic message: Bad Wolf Lives.

Back in Cardiff the next morning, Jack broods on his failure to protect his charges at Flat Holm, not to mention the fact that Flat Holm has to exist at all. Ianto delivers the final report to Jack on the killing from the night before, and Jack makes the decision to take Ianto with him back to the island.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Jack: What do you mean, you're not going back to Cardiff?  
Ferry Captain: Can't get across in this weather, sir.  
Jack: You can't stay here.  
Ferry Captain: There's a shelter two miles west. Welcome to come with us, Captain Harkness.  
Jack: I have a rock I can crawl under. You be safe there?  
Ferry Captain: Safe as houses. Ride it out, come back when it's over and pick you up.  
Jack: See you at first light.

Ianto: Torchwood Cardiff.  
Jack: Ianto?  
Ianto: Yes, sir.  
Jack: It's ten o'clock at night. Why are you at the Hub?  
Ianto: Wanted to make sure everything was waterproof.  
Jack: Is it?  
Ianto: So far. No promises about the fountain if this wind keeps up. I thought you might be here.  
Jack: I'm touched. I'm taking shelter somewhere else tonight.  
Ianto: That's a shame, sir, we could use you here.  
Jack: Why, what's up?  
Ianto: Another stabbing victim. Suzie's gone out to try the glove on her.  
Jack: You got hold of Suzie?  
Ianto: She always answers her mobile.  
Jack: Except when I call, apparently.

Alex: Torchwood Cardiff.  
Jack: Ianto, thank god, I --  
Alex: Sorry, you might have a wrong number.  
Jack: Ianto?  
Alex: This is Alex. Jack, is that you?  
Jack: I...what?  
Alex: Jack, are you all right? I thought you'd gone off for the weekend.  
Jack: Can I ask you a weird question?  
Alex: I'm doing a report summary on an alien that eats shoes, Jack. There are no weird questions.  
Jack: What year is it?  
Alex: 1998, at least last time I checked. Are you drunk?  
Jack: No. No. And uh. Don't bring up to me that I called, okay? When you see me.  
Alex: O...kay. See you on Monday.  
Jack: Yeah. Bye, Alex.

Ianto: I have the report on last night's killing for you.  
Jack: The same MO? Stabwound in the back?  
Ianto: Another one, yes. Suzie got a minute thirty with the glove. She's improving. Didn't get anything from the victim, though.  
Jack: You gonna ask what last night was about?  
Ianto: No.  
Jack: Why not?  
Ianto: Not my concern, sir.  
Jack: You're good at keeping secrets.  
Ianto: I've had to be.  
Jack: Get your coat. I need to show you something.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

Profile: "Resurrection Gauntlet"  
Author: S. Costello

Preliminary:  
The "Resurrection Gauntlet" (Owen thinks we need a cooler name for it) was dredged up from the Bay approx. 40 years ago (see attached file for recovery details). It lay dormant in an unused part of the archives until it was rediscovered approx 2 mos ago. It is 15" in length, apparently intended to fit a humanoid hand and lower arm, possibly slightly larger than standard human size. Its alloy is alien and puts out slight electromagnetic energy but whether this is inherent or due to the Rift is uncertain. It is cold to the touch and warms _only_ when operated. When activated it resurrects any recently-killed human for between thirty seconds and two minutes (see chart 1a, Average Resurrection Time).

Use:  
To date, fifteen bodies have been briefly revived by the glove (see attached case summaries). The glove seems to develop a rapport with the wearer, and an experienced user can achieve longer periods of resurrection. Seems to respond to some specific element of personality. Results as follows:

Attempted Use By: Captain Jack Harkness  
Response: Temporary disorientation and dizziness followed by intense pain.  
Resurrection: None. Captain Harkness was unable to wear the glove for long enough to make a thorough attempt.

Attempted Use By: Dr. Owen Harper  
Response: Apprehension (possibly somatic).  
Resurreciton: None. Owen was able to wear the glove, but had no results. Claimed the glove never "warmed up" to him. It's not the first.

Attempted Use By: Toshiko Sato, Technologist  
Response: No severe emotional response. Elation over success, short-lived.  
Resurrection: 3 seconds. Second attempt: 5 seconds. Third attempt: No response. Resurrection _is_ documented, Owen's monitors showed momentary heart and brain activity, but the length of time was hardly worth the attempt. On third attempt, and every subsequent attempt, glove warms but does not respond...

Attempted Use By: Ianto Jones, General Support  
Response: No emotional response.  
Resurrection: None. During initial attempts glove warmed but no resurrection was initiated.

Documentation of continued successful interface with the glove by S. Costello follows.

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -4  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 10

Alien activity: None.

Rift activity: Rift dropped another victim into my lap yesterday. Apparently, wherever it sent her, it gave her the power to manipulate time. I am not amused.

Security: Several residents of Flat Holm Infirmary were killed by Patient Z. Not many of them were going to live very long, but these weren't mercy killings, they were homicides. In addition, the staff of the infirmary were endangered. Better vetting and security procedures are going to have to be implemented. Going to tap Ianto to draw up a security plan. Keeps him entertained.

Other security issues: Suzie went alone to a murder site last night to test the glove. I don't like this -- wouldn't like it if it were any team member. If the killer was watching she could have been a target, especially traveling home alone or to the Hub. From now on, nobody goes out to these sites without a partner.

Staff: Had the night off, for the most part. I hope it did them good.

Other Staff issues: Ianto Jones has been informed of Flat Holm Infirmary's existence. I had to tell someone, and he's good at keeping secrets. Plus he can help order the supplies and coordinate transfers now. It's hard to know who I should tell about this -- Suzie would find it horrific and it's not really her concern anyway, she does enough around here. I wouldn't put Tosh through that, and Owen would burn out trying to save them all. Ianto's safe, he's seen enough nastiness that he barely batted an eye.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.11 Touching Four**

Owen, arriving unusually early to the Hub one morning, has a rude wake-up call when he stumbles over a body by the fountain pool. The man isn't one of theirs, but he's unconscious and breathing, so Owen gets him into the medbay and is in the process of hooking up IVs and doing an exam when Jack appears. Jack is shocked to recognise the man as a member of Torchwood Four, a branch of Torchwood that disappeared ten years ago and hundreds of miles away. And Aaron Hansen looks exactly the way he did when they disappeared.

In the conference room, Jack briefs them on Torchwood Four's disappearance. An outpost in Galway, much like Cardiff, Torchwood Four was dedicated to information and debris retrieval at the westernmost edge of Torchwood's reach, the Atlantic ocean. Ten years ago, it disappeared -- the people and the building, without a trace remaining. Jack always suspected that a temporal shift was triggered by something that Four recovered, but there was no way of proving it. Now, it appears his assumption was only half-right.

Their visitor from Galway, Aaron, is putting out strange energy readings that seem to indicate he has recently crossed between universes. When he finally wakes, he is thrilled to see Jack Harkness, and asks after people that none of the current Torchwood Three team know anything about. It is left to Jack to inform Aaron that Four has been gone for ten years. Aaron, devastated, tells him that for Four it's only been a few months.

Four apparently didn't realise at first that they had stepped across universes. Isolated as they were, it took them a month to figure it out and another few to find a way to send someone "home". Tosh is fascinated by the technology, but Jack is wary, knowing that the last time the walls between universes broke down, Torchwood London was destroyed.

Aaron explains that he's returned to plant a trigger that will draw Four back into the universe proper, but Jack is unwilling to act immediately. For one thing, Torchwood Four has been absent for ten years. For another, the trigger must be planted in the Rift itself, which means activating the Rift manipulator, which hasn't been controllable in decades. Aaron also has "absent" spells, possibly a holdover from his trip back to their universe, and Jack is unwilling to risk maiming or killing the rest of Four if he doesn't have to.

Soon, however, the choice may be out of his hands: there is a new nuclear power plant being built in Cardiff, the Blaidd Drwg plant, and with a "rift storm" brewing Jack knows what that means. Even if he won't tell the others. If they don't activate the trigger soon, they won't be able to activate it at all.

Ultimately, Aaron decides to take control of matters: he takes Owen and Suzie hostage, demanding that Jack activate the trigger and draw Four back into their world. Jack agrees to change places with Owen and Suzie, and alone in the dark in the bowels of the Hub he and Aaron negotiate for the return of Torchwood Four. Aaron talks about how you can't feel like you belong in any other place but yours; Jack talks about how you have to anyway. Aaron, growing more and more agitated, continues to rant and threaten while Jack tries to find a way out for both his team and Four's.

In the end, it doesn't matter; Aaron can feel Four tugging him back as the machinery that brought him to Cardiff destabilises. With glowing gold eyes, he repeats something that someone else told Jack not long before: Bad Wolf Lives. Aaron has more information than that, however: She lives, and She is coming for them all. Episode Quotes:

Aaron: You don't look a minute older than you did ten years ago.  
Jack: I age well.  
Aaron: So. You're in charge of Torchwood now. Never thought I'd see the day.  
Jack: Me either.  
Aaron: You like it?  
Jack: Has its moments.  
Aaron: Yeah. What happened, Alex finally retire?  
Jack: He died.  
Aaron: KIA, I hope.  
Jack: He shot himself on New Year's Eve. Left Torchwood to me. As a gift, he said.  
Aaron: Jesus Christ, Jack.

Aaron: Jack seems...happier.  
Suzie: I'd hate to know what he was like ten years ago, then.  
Aaron: Leadership suits him. Handpicked the lot of you, did he?  
Owen: Somewhere between handpicking and kidnapping, really.  
Aaron: Sounds like Jack. Figures, though.  
Owen: How's that?  
Aaron: Well, he's Jack, isn't he? Figures he'd pick the pretty ones.

Aaron: Jack. We don't fit there. Things are strange, we don't belong --  
Jack: Sometimes you don't. I've had to live with that. You learn to survive.  
Aaron: We don't want to survive. We want to come home.  
Jack: There is more at stake here than homesickness. The world is bigger than you are.  
Aaron: But it's _not our world!_

Suzie: By the way, your three months are up. The surveillance is off.  
Ianto: Thank you.  
Suzie: So now you can get rid of that cheap disposable phone you've been making private calls with, and the secret e-mail account.  
Ianto: I...  
Suzie: Listen, whatever it is, I don't want to know. Kinky pay-for-play sex, affair with a married...person, side business, I don't care. Unless it's drugs, then you should tell me. It isn't drugs, is it?  
Ianto: No.  
Suzie: Okay then. Carry on.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

TORCHWOOD IV - GALWAY - CHARTER

Mission Designation: The primary goal of an established Torchwood branch on the western coast of Ireland is as follows:

1\. Coastal surveillance and recovery of alien technology  
2\. Defence against possible incursion  
3\. Import surveillance and auditing / anti-smuggling activity

Branch Structure: Torchwood IV represents a trend towards self-sufficiency and immediate on-site intellectual authority subject to but not subsumed by policy set at Torchwood I London. As follows:

SITE STAFF  
SUPERVISING MANAGER, reporting to Torchwood I London. Autonomous control within Torchwood IV of all activity. Determines budget allocation, final hiring authority, all personnel management.  
TECHNOLOGIST I: reporting directly to Supervising Manager. Authority to impound or confiscate alien technology for Torchwood's use. Well-versed in latest technological theory. Translation skills a plus.  
TECHNOLOGIST II: Assists Technologist I in all activities and acts as liaison between IV and I.  
MEDIC: Provides healthcare for all members, creates health and safety protocols for office use, subject to dictates of Torchwood I London.  
ARCHIVIST: Provides proper storage, preservation, and research materials for artifacts deemed useless or whose functions are unknown. Prepares, packages, and provides transit for artifacts en route to Torchwood I London.

FIELD RECOVERY TEAM  
TEAM CAPTAIN: Supervises all field activity. In field situation, supercedes all authority excepting branch Supervising Manager. May also fulfill the role of Public and Police Liaison.  
SAFETY SUPERVISOR: Makes initial recon, including witness interviews and memory modification as necessary. Assesses safety of recovery, provides necessary equipment and containment units. Liaises with Medic on health and safety protocols in the field.  
RECOVERY SPECIALIST: Devises recovery methodology and process. Recovers equipment, technology, and remains.  
FIELD ASSESSOR: Accepts recovered material and ensures it is stored properly for transit. Initial assessment of usefulness and function. All items MUST BE CLEARED by Field Assessor before being returned to Galway Hub for study/archival.

 

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -3  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 11

Alien activity: None.

Rift activity: Gearing up for the big one. I have to be ready. It's not there yet, but soon.

Security: Speculations regarding the disappearance of Torchwood Four (see investigation file #34432) are confirmed. Torchwood Four was not the victim of a temporal displacement, as suspected, but rather a dimensional displacement. They passed into another universe, and didn't even _notice_. I couldn't throw the Rift into chaos, not for that, not so close to the next major event.

Other security issues: Aaron took Suzie and Owen hostage. I successfully negotiated myself into their place and stalled Aaron long enough for him to be no danger to us. It felt...too much like old times, deceiving people I should be liaising with, sacrificing Four for the sake of my people, but I had no choice. More hung in the balance than Aaron's homesickness.

Staff: Owen and Suzie are unscathed. They're all looking at me...a little funny. The way I used to look at Alex when I knew he was doing something cruel but couldn't argue. I hate that look.

Other Staff issues: Suzie reminded me that Ianto's three-month probation was up a month ago. We haven't really bothered checking the surveillance much in the past two months, so now it's just a matter of shutting down the hardware. He's a good kid. Won't ever make field agent, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Capt. Jack Harkness.

* * *

**0.12 Lockdown**

Jack's team at Torchwood know that he's...different, weird, alien in a way they can't define. What they don't know is that a much younger, much different Jack was once in Cardiff to stop an alien threat long before he became a member of Torchwood and started doing it for a living. Once upon a time, Jack came to Cardiff with Rose Tyler and the Doctor, and they stopped a Slitheen from blowing away half the planet just to get the energy to get back home.

When Margaret Blaine was elected mayor of Cardiff, Jack knew that the time was coming when the Doctor would appear to stop her -- along with a younger copy of himself -- and inadvertently open the Rift. He can't let that version see him, and he can't let his team see that Jack, but the only way around it seems to be to put the entire Hub under lockdown. Once everyone is in the Hub for the morning and the blue box has appeared on the Plass, Jack triggers a total lockdown: no power, no connectivity to the outside world, no CCTV recording, no way to escape for twenty-four hours. The team thinks it's a malfunction in the decontam system, designed to keep alien microbes from escaping.

Trapped in the Hub for reasons they can't understand, the team react in different ways. Ianto, who seems especially upset, starts trying to rewire the generators to provide them with a minimal amount of power. Owen, worried about the cryo units, begins obsessively locking the doors. Tosh tries to treat the whole thing lightly, like some kind of camp-out, but without her technology she too is going a little insane. Suzie seems to be struggling with something, but nobody can figure out quite what.

Still, Jack feels confident that in a few more hours he can release his agents in the knowledge his other self has gone -- until he notices that it's past the time they should have felt the aftershock of the Rift opening, and nothing happened. Too late, he realises that unbeknownst to his younger self, Torchwood had a role to play in the events surrounding the arrest of Margaret Blaine, and they missed their cue while they were locked down in the Hub.

Jack, now frantic to escape and find out what went wrong, accidentally triggers a menace he thought was defused years ago, an anti-escape mechanism that is trained to hunt down and kill anyone who gets out. The team fends off flying mechanical monsters without question, giving Jack a chance to escape to the remote trigger and re-power the Hub. When he turns around after powering up the Hub (and deactivating the monsters), however, he finds himself face to face with...himself.

TO BE CONTINUED.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Jack: No power. No lights, no computers, no sensors, no CCTV, no way to get out.  
Owen: What about the cryo units?  
Jack: When a power cut happens, do you open the fridge?  
Owen: I dread to know what "eating all the ice cream before it melts" is in that little metaphor.

Ianto: How are you holding up?  
Tosh: Fine. A little bored, but fine.  
Ianto: I er. Brought you a book.  
Tosh: Shame we haven't got any lights.  
Ianto: [offers a torch]  
Tosh: What would we do without you?  
Ianto: I do my best.

Owen: What are you doing?  
Jack: Getting out.  
Suzie: Told you. Nobody could stay that calm. He was just waiting to boil over.  
Jack: Are you going to psychoanalyze me or help me get out?  
Suzie: I can do both!

Jack: Okay. Remote power restart. I can do this. Tosh, you reading me?  
Tosh: Pull the panel off the wall. You should see three red handles. Pull the middle one, then the sides simultaneously.  
Jack: That's it? Shouldn't we have this locked at least, or something?  
Tosh: Oh.  
Jack: Oh?  
Tosh: I assumed you'd got the lock picked.  
Jack: Dammit.  
Ianto: It's a simple three-pin punch. Use your cufflink.  
Jack: It frightens me how much you know about picking this lock.  
Ianto: It's my job.  
Jack: Okay, power should be coming back on...now.  
Tosh: Yep. We have power.  
Jack: Good, now Ianto and I can have a talk about...uh...  
Tosh: Jack?  
Jack: Hang on a minute, Tosh.  
Tosh: What's going on?  
Jack: Just ran into an old friend. Sit tight. I'll call you back in a minute. [hangs up] Captain Harkness.  
Younger Jack: Captain Harkness.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

From: I. Jones  
To: T. Sato  
Subject: No Subject

Tosh, check camera 112. I just pulled this grab off the feed on the Plass.

Has Jack ever mentioned having a brother?

IJ

ATTACHED FILE:  


**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -2  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 12

NO ENTRY.

* * *

**0.13 Know Then Thyself**

_PREVIOUSLY, ON TORCHWOOD: Jack locked down the Hub when he saw the Doctor arriving on the Plass, to prevent himself or his team from meeting a younger Jack Harkness. Then he realised Torchwood has a part to play in the events taking place topside, and manages to escape long enough to reroute power to the Hub and free his team. Only to discover that his younger self got curious and followed him..._

Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood, doesn't have the time to explain things to Captain Jack Harkness, Companion of the Doctor. Something has gone horribly awry: Jack, Rose, Mickey, and the Doctor were supposed to capture Mayor Margaret Blaine, who was then supposed to trick them into opening the Rift so that she could escape. In turn this would cause her to be de-aged to egg form, and keep the Doctor and his Companions on schedule for Raxacoricofallapatorius, after which they would make their way to the Game Station and Jack's eventual, terrible destiny. As much as he'd like to change his immortality for a mortal life, Jack knows that what's done can't be undone, not by messing about with the past.

Instead of events unfolding the way Jack remembers, the Doctor and his Companions failed to capture Margaret Blaine, who escaped via teleportation and left them with an empty Mayor's office, a bit of alien tech a younger Jack is drooling to study, and an evening free of intrigue...or of Rift-opening. If Jack doesn't fix matters soon, time will alter drastically and his own personal timeline, not to mention that of his team and of the Earth, will be left hanging loose.

Jack and his younger counterpart determine that there are four "pressure points" to the event -- capturing the Mayor, the Doctor taking her away from the TARDIS for dinner, the Rift being thrown open, and the Mayor being attacked by the TARDIS itself. Each pressure point needs attention, but the longer the two Jacks are together the more dangerous everything will become.

In a fit of desperation, Jack forces his team topside and into an unguarded TARDIS. Together the two Captains steal the time-machine, taking it back a handful of hours. They leave Tosh at the first point, with instructions on how to recalibrate the Mayor's teleportation device to weaken the field. Ianto is next, charged with convincing a younger Jack Harkness to send the Doctor away for a few hours ("by any means necessary" and "use your sexual wiles" both left unsaid). Suzie is left to ensure that the proper switch is thrown, opening the Rift, and Owen is left with her, in charge of making sure the TARDIS defends itself against the Mayor when the time is right.

Tosh and Ianto manage their tasks without a hitch, although perhaps, in Ianto's case, not without a few suspicious bruises. Suzie completes her task and then sneaks out of the TARDIS to rendezvous with the others, but her first taste of freedom in hours is too much and she returns to the Hub, risking a fragmented timeline, in order to collect her knife.

Owen, on the other hand, has no idea how to control the TARDIS or do what Jack asked. He absorbs enough from the others to know that there's a panel he needs to open, but it requires sneaking around under the very noses of the TARDIS inhabitants -- three observant humans and an alien with ultraperceptive senses. Jack's younger self is doing a good job of distracting them, but Owen can only do so much at once.

With time running out, Owen manages to release the heart of the TARDIS, setting the timeline right and ensuring Jack's future, not to mention their own. Jack offers his young counterpart a parting drink, laced with Retcon, and his younger self agrees; after seeing him safe to the door of the TARDIS, Jack takes his team to a pub to celebrate and likewise spikes their drinks with Retcon, although this time he doesn't ask permission. With the last few hours extremely fuzzy, Owen isn't going to say no to a night off, nor is Tosh; Ianto finds himself oddly eager when Jack invites him back to the Hub for the evening, and Suzie -- well, Suzie, with the knife in her bag, assumes that she was going to go hunting, and disappears into the night just as the TARDIS vanishes from the Plass.

 

**Episode Quotes:**

Younger Jack: I felt you. Before. I got rid of the Doctor -- but you must remember this.  
Jack: No, I don't. That's what's worrying me.  
Younger Jack: You don't remember this.  
Jack: Something's wrong.  
Younger Jack: I guess you would know. You sound...so old. In my head. We don't look as old as you feel.  
Jack: We moisturise.  
Younger Jack: I like our hair. Very contemporary. What's up with the coat?  
Jack: I really don't have time to explain my fashion decisions to myself.

Suzie: Who is he, Jack?  
Jack: He's me.  
Suzie: How?  
Jack: I used to travel with this...guy. Amazing guy. Doctor. Something happened to me...and I came here. To wait for him. I've waited a long time.  
Suzie: But he's here now.  
Jack: But he's not. Not for me. What happened to me in my past hasn't happened to him, here and now, not yet.  
Suzie: My head hurts.  
Jack: Welcome to my life.

[Ianto, walking past Younger Jack, spills coffee on him.]  
Ianto: Excuse me -- I'm so sorry.  
Younger Jack: It's nothing, really.  
Ianto: No, you're covered in -- here, let me -- [begins blotting Jack's trousers with his handkerchief]  
Younger Jack: Hey, if you wanted to make friends you only had to ask.  
Ianto: [pause] Want to make friends?  
Younger Jack: God bless the twenty-first century. Captain Jack Harkness.  
Ianto: Ianto Jones.  
Younger Jack: You got a place?  
Ianto: Yours is closer.  
Younger Jack: You've been watching me.  
Ianto: Does that spoil the mystique?  
Younger Jack: It's a mystique all its own. I gotta ditch my roommates. Stay here.  
Ianto: Breathless with anticipation.

Jack: You have to drink this.  
Younger Jack: Because you didn't remember any of this.  
Jack: That's right.  
Younger Jack: How do we end up here? With...friends, lovers, but without the Doctor?  
Jack: We die.  
Younger Jack: And?  
Jack: And Rose brings us back. And then we get left behind.  
Younger Jack: Why?  
Jack: You'll find out when I do. Drink up, kiddo.

 

**BBC WEBSITE EXTRAS**

**CAPTAIN'S BLOG**  
Entry -1  
Ongoing Archive Notes  
Torchwood 3  
Volume 71, Week 13

Alien activity: Alien known as The Doctor present in Cardiff for the better part of the day into the evening.

Rift activity: Sort of depends on how you look at it. From this perspective, not much out of the usual. From the other side of the equation, it was closed and now it's open. You know they try to prep you for stuff like this as a Time Agent but nothing really ever makes you ready for the way your brain tries to crawl out your ears when you think too hard about it.

Security: Got to work on some different protocols for Hub lockdown.

Other security issues: Doctor is not an ongoing security risk; TARDIS departed earlier this evening.

Staff: S. Costello, O. Harper, T. Sato, and I. Jones all encountered my younger self and his traveling companions to a greater or lesser degree. Retcon administered, seems to be holding.

Other Staff issues: Ianto has remained in the Hub with me this evening to monitor the Rift and inspect the infrastructure for damage after our lockdown. I am certain he will conduct his end of the investigation with the thoroughness for which he is fast becoming famous in some Torchwood circles.

Capt. Jack Harkness.


End file.
